As Helle’s mother in particular became increasingly in need of nursing care, private nurse Charlotte was assigned to work with Helle’s parents. This was the beginning of a long and successful nursing care course, in which the parent’s quality of life was improved. After the mother’s death, Charlotte continued to be assigned to the father, who was now suddenly alone. Read Helle’s story about the course and how a private nurse made a big difference for the whole family.
"I don't need a nurse"
Helle and her family decided to get private nursing care for her mother, who suffered from several different illnesses and was taking a number of different medications. Helle felt that she and the family were not allowed to help, as the mother herself did not feel that she needed help.
“She hadn’t come to that realization yet, so it was hard for us to help. The family relationship did not make it any easier either, as it is a cross-border issue for both parties that a daughter, for example, has to help her mother with her personal hygiene. That’s why a private nurse became relevant for us.” Helle explains.
Nurse Margit Egeskov had an initial conversation with Helle and the parents to determine the need for nursing care, and then Charlotte was assigned to the parents.
“It took a bit of getting used to – probably mostly for my dad, who thought it was a bit weird. But Charlotte was really good at reading them and quickly became their confidante. She had a good hold on both of them. With many different diseases and complications, my mother’s condition was very bad, but Charlotte managed to improve their quality of life and kept a close eye on their health.”
With many different diseases and complications, my mother's condition was very bad, but Charlotte managed to improve their quality of life and kept a close eye on their health."
A safe and confidential relationship
As a relative, it’s nice to be kept informed, as you naturally care about your family members. About this Helle reports:
“It was really nice to have a regular contact person who could explain to us what was going on and how our parents and grandparents were being cared for. Of course, there were issues and details that remained between Charlotte and my parents, but she managed to keep us informed at a professional level that gave us peace of mind.”
Helle emphasizes that Charlotte’s nursing knowledge and experience were also very much appreciated when talking to doctors and hospitals.
“It was very reassuring for my parents – and for us – that Charlotte could come along to the health consultations. That way she was well informed and could explain things thoroughly to my parents and the rest of us who are not well versed in nursing terms.”
Having a private nurse to talk to also became an issue after both the mother’s and father’s deaths. “We had some questions about the course that we could talk to Charlotte about, and it gave us peace of mind to be informed about what had happened up to that point.”
Desire to stay in own home
When Helle’s mother passed away, Charlotte continued as a private nurse for Helle’s father. The father had to get used to a new life. Whereas Helle’s mother needed traditional nursing help with her diseases and medication, her father’s need was more for everyday life to run so he could stay in his own home.
“Charlotte helped with some of the things my mother always did that my father had no idea about. The home had to work, so my father was comfortable.”
This, of course, meant dealing with the grief of his wife. To this Helle says: “Charlotte was my father’s confidante. I think they could talk about anything. This way Charlotte could help him with his thoughts and feelings after my mother’s death. She kept an eye on both his physical and mental health, and managed to keep him going and happy.”
Charlotte was my father's confidante. I think they could talk about anything. This way Charlotte could help him with his thoughts and feelings after my mother's death.
Easier to maintain family relationships
Worries and feelings of not being able to help are common among the relatives of sick elderly people. This can strain the family relationship and create distance. Helle found that her relationship with her parents became easier when they received proper care:
“One of the things that made a big difference for us was that it was easier for us to be with my parents. We could see that they were comfortable with their nurse, and that way we wouldn’t have to worry and try to talk to them about those things ourselves. Things were under control and they got the care they needed.”
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